Don't Hold Back

You know what I've seen as an obstacle, more so than anything else (or so it seems, at least)? 


And I mean this in many ways. But one I've noticed is how I write, and holding back on ME. 

Let me explain. 

One day I was in art class. I can draw, always had a natural inclination towards sketching growing up. After my mom passed before I went into high-school (and those were some crazy years. Another story.) But one of the classes that I had managed to get to had a teacher who was showing the students how to draw--or something like that--it was a long time ago, cut me some slack. What I remember was that teacher rubbed me the wrong way. There was even a moment when a fellow student I'd known through elementary school told the teacher that I was an artist. Not sure why that happened, but it did drive me a bit for what I was about to do. 

So the teacher came over after showing the other students this and that and offered some criticism. I believe this is where my fellow classmate told them I was an artist. I was pissed (and not the English meaning, I mean I was angry). You know, in that artist kind of way. 

Anyway, there was a moment when the teacher made eye contact with me and I was holding my pencil and SNAP! 

My thumb had a spasm, I swear! T'was nothing more! 

But yeah. I had my moment. 

Now, not to ring my own bell (as the saying goes), but I'd like to think what I'd done on my sheet was a bit above the rest in the room. I'd been doing it for a long time and had some years of experience with some nice pieces and people who agreed with my prowess. 

Again, I don't like to toot my own horn, but the point of this situation is that teacher ticked me off because there was no, "Oh, that's great, wow," then maybe some criticism. And who knows, maybe that would have come later on. I don't know. I was going through some wicked stuff and didn't really care at that time. 

Could I have been nicer, maybe. I'd like to think I had handled the situation decently given the circumstances. 

You get people who genuinely want to help, and then there are those who are maybe jealous (not saying that was the case with the teacher) and want to stunt whatever they see. Kind of like that person who can look at an empty room and sees what it will look like with this and that added in--you know, those people who are all over DIY channel and stuff. 

Everyone has their own way. Great example, Neil Gaiman. When I read him, I have to read maybe fifteen to twenty pages before I get into his style, then it flows. But it can be gotten into. Same with King. Try going from Gaiman to King back and forth, whew, now that's something else. Try it. 

So this is all another piece in the epic, overall puzzle of trying to figure out success. 

And it goes for any kind of artistic endeavor. Or anything, really. Make your own mark. Not the drink. 

See, people have their own way of telling their own stories. All the little clues peppered in all the tutorials, and magazines, and books. All of it is right. For that person. what may be right for me, or you, can be one of those tutorials, or a conglomeration of mixed experiences by those artists, or none at all. Sometimes you go your own way. And there's nothing wrong with that. 

Just know who's who, or try to know, at least. 

Read between the lines. Gather what you can. Be YOU. Write that story how you want it to be. Don't let anyone get in your way. (a little cliché and vague, but that's okay. You'll know what I mean if you know. You may already, or may never.) 

Should you abide by rules? Sure. But use them like two ropes and a rickety bridge between two great mountains--for guidance. 

You can always edit, but don't loose you. And don't hold back. 

And please, don't break any pencils. 



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