Have To Force Myself

Alright. I have to force myself at this point. And I know that's not usually a wise idea. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. But I want to do this. That's the thing. And I love these things. Some place in my mind knows this, remembers this. Yearns? I guess you can say that. But a force almost palpable holds me back. 

I used to be so creative. Now I get up and go to work. I run on automatic. I get those sparks, but they fizzle out. This isn't a give-up post. I'm not letting it go. These thoughts usually pass through my mind and then I move on and strive for more positive thoughts. But I needed something to write. And this was on my mind. So here it is. 

I'm going to do what I'd done before with the posts. Just post. Anything I'm thinking. Analyze a bit, perhaps. And try to get some reviews out. Because who knows. I'd like to do many of these creative things for a living one day. But I have to reverse and go back a bit and retrace some steps to get my grove back. 

Maybe. Who knows. My creativity might still just be there and it's like getting on a bike again. 

And I'm trying not to talk too much, or tell too many people about anything I'm thinking or doing. I've read an article about how the energy is taken from you if you do this. It's not just superstitious, it's an actual thing. Maybe I'll do a post about it.

Let's see. 



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