Step Back

I put a pumpkin out the other day. Reminded me of the past Falls, of when things were normal. With all this craziness in the world, it makes me think about how there are still things that are normal.

I disconnect and the thoughts come back, why I wanted to do this in the first place is realized. The madness that bombards us when we press the power button to the devices that allow the world to flow into our homes is quelled, if only momentarily.

We control what is consumed--what we need enough of to understand what is going on to make a decision for survival. But that is another subject.

Right now I am at work as I write this portion of this post. When I post it I may be at home, but thoughts are flooding in and I am wondering what the heck? But here we are, and here the thoughts come.

There is a virtue in looking at the good in everything, the bright side, as the saying goes. Well, I've read that the bright side to all this insanity going on, the quarantining in particular, is people get to stop, to think, to spend time with their families, to get to do those things they've always wanted to do. Now, of course livelihood and thriving is very important, but we're looking at the bright side of the situation at the moment. Even through all this mayhem, there are stories I've seen of people who've used the time to benefit them in other ways--their hopes and wishes, their dreams.

One of those things, I feel and am starting to see, has been stepping back from social media--at least to the point where I understand it a bit more (what it's use is, what it's good for). And while the interaction with other authors is a good thing, writing is an isolated act. You become one with yourself and the various other personalities that live within your mind. If you are real, and putting out words from your heart, it will be seen and noted by others. But those discoveries come from you, initially for you, then for others to see. How much of that is edited and watered down? Depends on quite a few things. Is there a way to say things, to get a message across (perhaps even subliminally) in the process? 

Sure.

But the point I'm trying to make here is collaboration is swell, and there is a time for it. Buddies. This and that. But you have to know where the content is coming from, where the well of creativity goes back to and not block this important process. That is akin to self-sabotage.

You are you, if you weren't you'd be somebody else, and there already is somebody else.

One thing that aggravates me--and this is from my point of view--is how social media sort of pushes you to squeeze out content. Sure there are deadlines, but theoretically they should be for content that you are familiar with and know the boundaries of. When you expose too much of the process, the magic is depleted. I'm sure this is making sense to someone. It makes sense to me, but it's more than these words. It transcends what I am trying to express here.

All I know is I needed a break, to step away mentally, to restructure what I understand and put into play things I've been thinking about.

I'm not going to say this or that will happen and when, in terms of projects I'm working on, but I will say I'm working on things.

It's been a rough Summer; I think it hit its climax with Tropical Storm Isaias, that went through NY a few weeks ago. I had my power out for just about a week. Food spoiled, wasn't too hot in the beginning, but towards the end whoa boy, and my creative tank just about leaked the last drops of energy that were left at the bottom of it. I was drained mentally. Here and there I messed around, took a swipe with a pen, hit a few keys and mused over a paragraph or two, but who was I kidding? I'd had it.

And then there was silence. And more silence. Creative-wise.

And then an idea popped up. And another and I wrote a few things down. Did I work on anything? Maybe a little. But that isn't what got me excited anew: I got in touch with my creativity, realized what had sparked that fire before--before social media. And I feel it, as though I lift my hands and there is fire blazing from my fingers. Ha ha. Okay, maybe not that, but yeah. Something is here and it's interesting and I'm going to go play with it and see where it goes. I remember back in the day, when I'd listen to some music, or read a book and my imagination would run wild.

And I have a few videos for the YouTube channel coming up soon, too. Like I'd said, EVERYTHING took a hit, even that. Plus, I had to conserve energy during the power outage, so editing video on my phone had to be held off as well.

So to conclude, step back and see where it takes you. Take a breath, take two. Don't worry about what the next person will think. Do your own thing. There are many paths. Choose wisely. Okay, I'm out. Check you later.

WCM