Friday Musings 9/29/2017
This week I came to a realization. I had something in me when I first started, a raw energy that lent hope and brought out some pretty damn good moments in my writing.
Then I went through multiple moments of doubt and worry. Am I good enough? Everyone knows what I want to do, and I'm such a loud mouth that if I don't do it I'll look like a looser. And there were more.
Then I had moments where I felt great, on top of the world. I had, if memory serves me correctly, figured out something new, a different way of seeing things, and pushed on. I still had those days of self doubt, and maybe even gave up at certain moments. Yet I always got up the next day (and still do) with a refreshed attitude to go right back at it again. I had something new to work with. Of course sometimes it negated some older knowledge, but. I restructured and moved forward.
At one point, a long moment in time haha, work piled on and life gripped with a desperate choke hold--some wanted, like my daughter, some not so much, like the day job. My writing took a huge hit because of the job.
Recently I decided to barrel through it and not keep putting things off. But, you see, that's when life spins the web, and the more you try to escape, the more you become entangled.
Fine, I wasn't going to let it happen. I grew nails and clawed through. I didn't give up. Because even if I saw how much more web before escape, I laid back and said tomorrow is another day and attacked it then even harder than the day before.
Soon I plan to be out of that web. It will take time. Yes. Some are more lucky and have all the time handed to them. But alas, a day job cuts that off quick-- I mean, you do need to live and have shelter.
I still have that raw energy, if you love this I don't think it goes away. Of course, if it does you might want to start to worry.
Even if I never get to make it through. I'm still a writer. I've still been published. And I'm still pushing and pulling through that web. At least I'm going for it. As are you, hopefully. And let people scoff. In the end they have their complacent life to look forward too. At least we never gave up sight of what we want...
Keep doing what you do.
WCM
Then I went through multiple moments of doubt and worry. Am I good enough? Everyone knows what I want to do, and I'm such a loud mouth that if I don't do it I'll look like a looser. And there were more.
Then I had moments where I felt great, on top of the world. I had, if memory serves me correctly, figured out something new, a different way of seeing things, and pushed on. I still had those days of self doubt, and maybe even gave up at certain moments. Yet I always got up the next day (and still do) with a refreshed attitude to go right back at it again. I had something new to work with. Of course sometimes it negated some older knowledge, but. I restructured and moved forward.
At one point, a long moment in time haha, work piled on and life gripped with a desperate choke hold--some wanted, like my daughter, some not so much, like the day job. My writing took a huge hit because of the job.
Recently I decided to barrel through it and not keep putting things off. But, you see, that's when life spins the web, and the more you try to escape, the more you become entangled.
Fine, I wasn't going to let it happen. I grew nails and clawed through. I didn't give up. Because even if I saw how much more web before escape, I laid back and said tomorrow is another day and attacked it then even harder than the day before.
Soon I plan to be out of that web. It will take time. Yes. Some are more lucky and have all the time handed to them. But alas, a day job cuts that off quick-- I mean, you do need to live and have shelter.
I still have that raw energy, if you love this I don't think it goes away. Of course, if it does you might want to start to worry.
Even if I never get to make it through. I'm still a writer. I've still been published. And I'm still pushing and pulling through that web. At least I'm going for it. As are you, hopefully. And let people scoff. In the end they have their complacent life to look forward too. At least we never gave up sight of what we want...
Keep doing what you do.
WCM
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